We all have an idea of therapy clients. It’s a picture of distressed, breaking down adults, emotionally polarized, rebellious adolescents, and nervous/hard to control/withdrawn children. In all these descriptions, we picture these human profiles going through the extremes, don’t we?
Although, therapy and counseling are most definitely very welcoming and nurturing spaces for people in extreme distress, it is not ONLY for them.
The therapeutic space is welcoming of everyone who would like to explore the how’s and why’s of themselves.
A healthy part of the human experience is our periodic occurrence of coming to life determining cross roads. Although these junctures are tumultuous, foggy and stormy for a period of time, they are sign posts of crucial personal growth.
Loved ones may be able to help us out up to a certain extent, and then there comes a time when no one but ourselves can make the decisions, because we all are on individual paths to discover what it means to live OUR lives.
Therapy and counseling may come in handy at these points. Therapy offers a space for exploration and reflection. You get to try out different personalities, experiment with outcomes and understand why something works or doesn’t work for you. All the while, you have your therapist to support and guide the process. If therapy were bungee jumping, think of your therapist as the person who ensures your cords and harness are secure, but ultimately, you make the decision of whether to take the plunge or not.
So who comes to therapy? It is the adult, adolescent and child who may be in search of clarity, change, expression, relief, support and understanding. We seek to be understood, witnessed, empowered, to find a voice, be accepted and be validated for our existence as is in that moment. We are periodically required to unlearn the way of life that has been taught to us, and relearn the way of life as one that is solely relevant to us, re-centering our inner compass towards a more intrinsic and authentic north star. These periods of re-centering almost certainly feature internal fogs and at times, life altering storms.
We think of those in dire distress as the only ones in need for help but that is untrue. Our societies have had us internalize and dangerously hero the experience of struggle. But, the questions we must often ask ourselves is, “Why must we struggle in cold, silent isolation until things get out of hand?”, and, “What is the personal cost of being the sole hero bearing the burden of this struggle?”
There is the healthy option for us to reach out for help early in the struggle and ask for assistance. Many a time, we get the help we require. To be able to do this, we need to UNLEARN the idea of the lone hero upholding the struggle, and RELEARN the natural humanness of reaching out and asking for a hand. In doing so, we open ourselves to receiving the warmth and strength of another, an ally through the fog and the knowledge that darkness is less scary with good company beside you.