Finding new mediums to explore mental health: Creative initiatives by Namma women
Insecurities in Relationships – Svaha Conversations
In conversation with therapists and experts Leanne Pais and Dr. Rachel Jayaseelan on Insecurities in Relationships.
We explore different approaches and understandings to insecurities and how we can begin change our perception and relationship to our insecurities.
Male Therapists and Men’s Mental Health -Svaha Conversations
This video explores the lived experience of three male therapists, as well as how they navigate the space of mental health personally and professionally.
We also touch upon areas of:
- Male upbringing and relationship to vulnerability
- Needs for emotional safety
- Systemic oppression (within a patriarchal system)
- Male therapists in female dominated industry
- Legal issues & government authorities within India and Sri Lanka
- Abuse faced by males (domestic, emotional, sexual and physical)
- Depression & Suicide
The discussion ends with tips from the therapists of how to begin a reflective process as a man and how the community can support their journey, following which audience questions are answered.
Intersectionality & Queer Representation in Mental Health in India: Svaha Space Conversations
In this Video the panelists and moderator explore their personal relationships with intersectionality and queer representation within mental health in India. It is an introductory conversation on the need for representation within Queer Mental Health within a fast paced evolution of urban mental health needs within the queer space.
Pondering Suicide
Upon the arrival and the chugging along of September, I found myself steeped within the conversation of Suicide Prevention Awareness as a result of 10th September being a crucial day for awareness, and the month providing spaces for discussion. With this was also the arrival of the bombardment of the statistics of people who have died by suicide for platitudes of valid reasons. In all our conversations upon media, social media and writing was there an almost painful blast of having to read in BOLD, ‘how to prevent suicide’, ‘how to cling on to hope’, ‘how to remain positive’, ‘how to know help is always available’,
It was a barrage of how to, how to, how to, how to…
Through all this time, some of us dipping in and out of our own battles with suicidal contemplations as well as times when we have had the misfortune of knowing someone who has passed on from suicide, I find myself feeling compelling whispers that something essential is missing.
Whenever I hear conversations around the same, it feels stifled with fear. There is a sense of what do we say, what do we not say, how do we say it by not saying it. Neither do we know what ‘it’ is. This isn’t criticism. It is an observation. For we are speaking of feelings and moments of desolation, despair and hopelessness that many of us find too scary to think about, let alone hold.
I find myself often reflective, with a sense of curiosity. Curiosity about our ironically existential fear of avoiding confronting the elephant in the room.
And yet, I get the sense that there is a need for deep, deep kindness while we speak of this. Kindness not only towards those holding the question of life or death for themselves, but towards ourselves as we err our way into understanding.
It is only when we dare to speak of the things we fear to utter, will we know it’s impact when it lands. For this, we must be brave. I suspect this bravery is one that shakes and shudders and wobbles, and still somehow, dares to leave our lips. It is the courage of embracing uncertainty as we speak about suicide. It is a quiet courage. The courage to listen to a story of someone, someone you love perhaps, who has pondered a world without their existence. It is a courage that stands alongside crippling fear for their lives but heeding the essence of their need for such ponders.
We indulge their story. We air the wound that bleeds. We understand that we don’t need to understand to accept. We accept that we may never truly understand.
I can see why there is fear for what we may hear. What if we hear ourselves intertwined in the fabric of reasons that cause their pain? ‘What if it is something I have said or done?’,’ What if I have contributed to their feeling of desolation and isolation?’, ‘What if I am the root cause of their pain?’
Yes. Those are valid questions and anticipations. What if we have played a role in it?
We sit with the discomfort of accountability.
When I see it, our support has less to do with how to-ing and more to do with being. It has little to do with saying, and more to do with wordless listening.
With witnessing. Witnessing expression. Witnessing anger, pain, and anguish. Witnessing fragility, jagged edges and feeling broken.
And then, being accountable.
In silence. In apologies. In trying. We exist.
Maybe, we start there.
A Conversation on Suicide
This conversation places on Suicide from an experiential point of view. The aim of the conversation was to address that everyone has their own journey within understanding suicide. It is an understanding that constantly evolves. Suicide is a cons.
We also cover the panelists views on their own:
- Misconceptions
- Undoing the Us vs Them
- Role of Shame Contexts: in adolescents, healthcare workers, in the community Their journey of understanding
- What is needed: curiosity and willingness to learn and implement
Panelists:
- -Nivendra U. Counselling Psychologist from Colombo, Sri Lanka
- -Dr. Sumedha Sircar, MBBS SPIF Consultant from Bangalore, India
- -Parizad D. Photographer, Visual artist from Mumbai, India
- -Chaitra Kumble Clinical Psychologist from Bangalore, India
Moderator: Shravanthi Venkatesh Founder of Svāhā Space Psychotherapist, Dramatherapist (HCPC Regd, UK)
Dark Humor, Satire, and The Therapy Room
When I meet my clients in the therapy room, I notice the more time I spend with them the funnier they allow themselves to be in my presence. On our first meeting, I generally meet nervous people on the couch or through the screen. They are often afraid of meeting judgment. Most likely because they have met it before. The more comfortable they become with my presence, just like any relationship I begin to see them for who they are. And slowly, the humour, mostly dark, self-deprecating, sarcastic and satirical, start taking baby steps and peeking out from behind the curtains.
At first, the humour almost slips out unintentionally, and there is a gasp and an almost immediate widening of their eyes in horror and the hand is slapped over their mouth, as they await my response. They have already begun to apologize for their “inappropriateness”, but in most cases, when it is genuinely funny, they find me laughing too, humouring their humour.
Humour is one of the most important aspects in my therapy room. From popular memes to my personal experience as a client, I have seen humour being chided and seen as a sign of abnormality in the room. The running joke is that “I laugh about my traumatic reality, and my therapist is furiously noting down, with looks that probably match that of concern”. I too have been on the receiving end of the cold wave of an unsmiling therapist to my inappropriate giggles and I felt shamed and judged by a person who I was entrusting my vulnerability with.
I do not agree with this response. I believe when humour is in the room it can be laughed at and acknowledged for all its comic beauty. I have come to realize that humour is all someone may have to keep themselves going. It is the way they have achieved some form of acceptance from others as well as themselves. Humour has been their means of coping through unspeakable pain. The darker the humour, quite possibly, darker the experiences.
When someone comes into the room with a joke on their lips, I laugh. I laugh because I am with them.
It can tell me that they are in a good mood, like a little buoyant sun. Their week has gone well. Their crush has said Yes! They felt successful at something. Life is working!
On days when there is darkness, I laugh or at least snort at their darkest of dark, satirical jokes because I know that it’s also them saying, ‘Hey, this is the only way I know how to show you my pain’, ‘it’s the only way I know how to sit with my harsh reality’,’ ‘It’s the only time I don’t entirely hate myself’, ‘It’s the only way I can talk about sad, scary, big things that have happened and about parts of myself that scare the sh*t out of me’. I will laugh with them. I will not shame them as they figure out whether this dark part of them is accepted by me.
We laugh heartily until we gradually stop to clutch our stomachs and take a breath, and then there it is, that moment of truth. They say, “God, that’s really sad isn’t it?!” We stop laughing, our eyes meet and we take a laboured breath together. I say with gentleness, “Yeah, that is sad, and painful…”. We meet reality as is. The jester has left. The wounded warrior has arrived.
As long as it is without malice, the darkest of dark humour and satire holds our light when hope is scarce. When our light is on the brink of being extinguished, humour is the protector of our vulnerability. It is the float that keeps us from drowning within the depths of our blues.
So, I welcome dark, inappropriate humour with open arms. Maybe the tremble of our laughter disguises the trembles of our fears. And until we are ready to hold our darkness, we’ll keep laughing.
Image retrived from https://ahseeit.com/?qa=70052/me-licking-the-knife-after-im-done-meme
Who Can Come for Therapy and Why
We all have an idea of therapy clients. It’s a picture of distressed, breaking down adults, emotionally polarized, rebellious adolescents, and nervous/hard to control/withdrawn children. In all these descriptions, we picture these human profiles going through the extremes, don’t we?
Although, therapy and counseling are most definitely very welcoming and nurturing spaces for people in extreme distress, it is not ONLY for them.
The therapeutic space is welcoming of everyone who would like to explore the how’s and why’s of themselves.
A healthy part of the human experience is our periodic occurrence of coming to life determining cross roads. Although these junctures are tumultuous, foggy and stormy for a period of time, they are sign posts of crucial personal growth.
Loved ones may be able to help us out up to a certain extent, and then there comes a time when no one but ourselves can make the decisions, because we all are on individual paths to discover what it means to live OUR lives.
Therapy and counseling may come in handy at these points. Therapy offers a space for exploration and reflection. You get to try out different personalities, experiment with outcomes and understand why something works or doesn’t work for you. All the while, you have your therapist to support and guide the process. If therapy were bungee jumping, think of your therapist as the person who ensures your cords and harness are secure, but ultimately, you make the decision of whether to take the plunge or not.
So who comes to therapy? It is the adult, adolescent and child who may be in search of clarity, change, expression, relief, support and understanding. We seek to be understood, witnessed, empowered, to find a voice, be accepted and be validated for our existence as is in that moment. We are periodically required to unlearn the way of life that has been taught to us, and relearn the way of life as one that is solely relevant to us, re-centering our inner compass towards a more intrinsic and authentic north star. These periods of re-centering almost certainly feature internal fogs and at times, life altering storms.
We think of those in dire distress as the only ones in need for help but that is untrue. Our societies have had us internalize and dangerously hero the experience of struggle. But, the questions we must often ask ourselves is, “Why must we struggle in cold, silent isolation until things get out of hand?”, and, “What is the personal cost of being the sole hero bearing the burden of this struggle?”
There is the healthy option for us to reach out for help early in the struggle and ask for assistance. Many a time, we get the help we require. To be able to do this, we need to UNLEARN the idea of the lone hero upholding the struggle, and RELEARN the natural humanness of reaching out and asking for a hand. In doing so, we open ourselves to receiving the warmth and strength of another, an ally through the fog and the knowledge that darkness is less scary with good company beside you.
The Therapy Room Offers…
For many of us the therapy room is a mysterious place. People who go in, almost certainly, come out slightly altered from when they stepped into the room; and like children outside a locked door we wonder, probably with curiosity, apprehension or fear, what happens in there.
This article hopes to demystify the therapy room.
It is a Playground for your emotions. Imagine your suppressed or pent up emotions are a class full of energetic first graders who require a field to move and play. Your emotions are allowed to run free here, in this playground, playing tag, climbing monkey bars or just sitting peacefully in the open. They’re allowed to run, kick, jump, scream, and to find a place where they are allowed to be.
A Carved Space with safety, privacy and curiosity which are created in collaboration between you and your therapist based on your needs. This space allows for open expression, communication and reflection.
A Witness and Ally. The therapy room is equipped with a therapist who has your best interest at all times. They are there to support and be with you in times of distress, witness and bring understanding to your journey as you acknowledge and come to terms with your reality and periodically steer your attention to your blind spots, growth and victories.
These are the universal givens of the therapy room. The therapeutic experience is determined by what you and your therapist each bring to the therapeutic relationship, and create together. This is where the healing and magic lie.